


Cockamamie Schemes

by frictriix



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Sex, Bestiality, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dirty Talk, Humiliation, Lorenz fucks a horse, M/M, Other, Voyeurism, cum dump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:07:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24228574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frictriix/pseuds/frictriix
Summary: So in their stable duty together, Lorenz claims he can handle it all by himself and Ferdinand says, "ah! In that case I will take a seat and watch."Ferdinand takes a seat and watches. Lorenz tries very hard to take that massive horse cock all by himself.Lorenz fucks a horse; or, rather, a horse fucks Lorenz. Ferdinand's horse, to be specific.A fill for the FE3H Kink Meme.
Relationships: Implied Lorenz Hellman Gloucester/Ferdinand von Aegir, Lorenz Hellman Gloucester/Ferdinand's Horse
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70
Collections: FE3H Kink Meme





	Cockamamie Schemes

**Author's Note:**

> **Please read the tags.**
> 
> This fic contains bestiality. Please navigate away and do not read this fic if that squicks you.

Dropping trou in the stables at one bell after midnight is a wholly new experience for Lorenz, but Ferdinand just nods approvingly. 

"I had no idea that the Goddess was so generous when she made you, Lorenz. You could give Bardolph some lively competition." 

Lorenz scoffs, his stomach tight with nerves. "Kind of you to say, Ferdinand, really. I'd argue his girth far outshines mine." 

"That's why you have the oil, is it not?" Ferdinand calls out from across the stable. The mare he's bringing to tie in front of his stallion's stall - the mare in estrous - whickers. 

Lorenz shushes them both, but Ferdinand laughs. 

"I dosed the stablehands' supper with a healthy amount of dreamrose. They will not wake before morning." 

Lorenz refolds his trousers three times before neatly hanging his jacket across the lip of Bardolph's stall. The white stallion eyes him with a beady gaze, tossing his head. He's already caught the scent of the mare, and his cock bobs heavily between his legs. Lorenz swallows hard as he tugs his boots back on, unwilling to stand on the prickly hay for long.

"That's awfully sly of you, Ferdinand. Not the kind of honorable plan I'd expect from someone of our station." 

"I confess it was Hubert that gave me the idea," Ferdinand says, patting the mare's flank as he ties a lead to her halter. Lorenz whirls, forgetting his nudity. 

"You haven't told _von Vestra_ -" 

"Of course not," Ferdinand says, looking at Lorenz oddly. "This is between you and I." 

_You and I indeed._ Lorenz harrumphs.

Whatever Ferdinand had been about to say is interrupted by an impatient stamp of Bardolph's hooves and a shrill whinny. Lorenz exhales slowly and retrieves the jar of oil he'd borrowed from the kitchens while Ferdinand carries a few crates over. 

Lorenz eyes them. "Would you mind fetching a saddle blanket as well, Ferdinand? I fear I shall need it for the first step of this venture." 

Ferdinand's eyes widen. "Of course." 

Lorenz's hands shake as he uncaps the oil and, steadying himself with a hand on the door of the stall, works a slick finger inside himself. He's still open and wet from where he'd stretched himself with his fist earlier, but the size of Bardolph's cock makes him shiver with a mixture of trepidation and anticipation. His own cock (pitiful in comparison, no matter what Ferdinand says) drips, ridiculously hard for not even having started yet. 

He hears a sharp intake of breath behind him as Ferdinand returns. When Lorenz looks over his shoulder, he finds Ferdinand's eyes glued to the wedge of four fingers and the tip of his thumb working his hole steadily. He flushes, arching his back a little, feeling victorious as Ferdinand bites his lip. 

Absurdly, a spark of confidence settles in his veins. 

"Alright," Lorenz says, drawing his hand out. Ferdinand, his own cheeks pink, offers Lorenz one of the crates and the saddle blanket before tying Bardolph in the middle of his stall by his halter. 

"So he cannot - ah - move forward too much and injure you," Ferdinand explains. Lorenz nods, grateful in a way that he finds difficult to voice.

He settles one of the crates underneath the beast's belly and gingerly lays back upon it, stuffing the blanket underneath his hips. Bardolph's softly furred stomach isn't far from his face, and the musky scent of it clings to Lorenz's nostrils. The horse's cock slaps against the inside of his thigh with a wet _smack_. Ferdinand drags his own crate somewhere behind Bardolph's hind legs, peering underneath. 

"Do you have a good view?" Lorenz asks tartly, his stomach squirming. Ferdinand nods, eyes bright, and offers Lorenz the oil. 

Lorenz's heart pounds. Steeling himself, he lets Ferdinand pour some on his hands before gently grasping the stallion's prick and slowly stroking it. 

Bardolph's tail swishes as he stamps again. Lorenz's lips part on a shaky breath as the coarse hairs whip the sensitive skin of his rear. The ridges of Bardolph's cock are unfamiliar beneath his hands, though the aesthetic of the thing isn't terribly ugly: large and pink, covered with light brown specks. The tip of it is flared, with little ruffles around the head, and Lorenz lets his finger trace them curiously while Ferdinand's breathing grows erratic. 

Lorenz gives his hole one extra swipe with the oil before using both hands to position the tip where he needs it, but he suddenly feels a spurt of liquid splash against him. 

"What on earth...?" he mutters, bringing his hand up to investigate. It's clear, not unlike the slick that wets his own cock before he spends, and as Lorenz narrows his eyes and strokes Bardolph's cock again, more fluid splashes out, slicking his hole - his cheeks - his thighs.

"Goddess," he murmurs, rubbing the tip against his hole, wriggling at the way the beast shifts above him, snorting. "It's quite messy, isn't it?” 

"Quite," Ferdinand says, voice strained. 

Biting his lip, Lorenz eases the tip of the horse's cock inside him. The silky head is soft but fleshy, requiring some maneuvering to fit the full shape of it inside his hole. It seems that no matter which edge he prods inside, another edge slips out, and before Lorenz can quite fit the whole tip in, his fingers are coated in the stallion's slick, and he has no purchase as he writhes atop the crate. 

"Here," Ferdinand says softly. He grabs the root of Bardolph's cock and urges it forward so that the full head can pop inside Lorenz’s hole. 

Lorenz whimpers, throwing a hand over his eyes. "He's still - spurting," Lorenz says, panting a little. 

Ferdinand nods. "That would be how they ensure the mares are wet enough to be mounted." 

The thought he's no better than a broodmare sends a bolt of arousal down his spine, and Lorenz grasps his cock with a little cry. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Ferdinand cross his legs, red in the face. 

It takes Lorenz a few more moments to adjust before he tilts his hips up, urging more of the stallion's girth inside him. The beast doesn't rut forward yet, but its hindquarters twitch, hind legs bending like it's searching for something to mount, and Lorenz moans again as he feels its slick inside him, dribbling over his insides. 

"Feels like he's - relieving himself," Lorenz says, chuckling through a gasp as he moves it deeper. It stretches him wider than he's ever stretched himself - not with a fist, not with the elegant toy he'd purchased from a traveling vendor, not with the ridged bedpost on his bed at home. He convulses, easing it deeper, bit by bit, letting the cock split him wide as his own prick weeps against his stomach. 

"Oh - _Goddess,_ it's so thick," Lorenz groans. He uses the cock like he would a toy, easing it out, then in, clenching around it and keening when the stallion surges forward to try and bury its cock inside. He feels cored out, like he'll never be put back together again, and his toes curl in his boots as arousal burns through him. He can hear the whisper of cloth as Ferdinand palms himself through his breeches and feels vaguely satisfied that he's not the only one coming undone. 

Bardolph whinnies again, and Lorenz gasps as he watches the creature's sides heave above him. 

"I'm going to let him mount me," he says thickly. "Ferdinand - help me, if you please." 

Between them, they manage to ease Bardolph back, his cock popping out of Lorenz's hole with a _thwap._. Lorenz's hole flutters around the emptiness, but Ferdinand looks enraptured, his arm twitching in an aborted movement. 

He stands on wobbly legs and braces his front against the stall door, clutching it tightly as Ferdinand allows some slack in Bardolph's ties. He focuses desperately on the coarse wood underneath his fingers to ground himself. His nerves have vanished, leaving only excitement in their wake. 

Behind him, he hears Ferdinand murmuring softly to Bardolph, and he jumps as cloth touches his shoulders. 

"The saddle blanket - put it over the stall door," Ferdinand instructs. "So you avoid splinters in unseemly places." 

"Whatever would I do without you?" Lorenz says. "My thanks." Ferdinand huffs out a laugh.

He barely has it situated in place before he hears a nicker from behind him, then a squeal, and he almost buckles under the weight of two massive forelegs on his shoulders as Bardolph surges up on his hind legs and attempts to mount him. 

"Goddess - _saints_ -" 

Bardolph’s cock ruts between his legs, missing his hole, but the hefty pressure of it against Lorenz’s sensitive balls is enough to make his knees weak. He clutches the stall door tighter, reaching behind him to guide Bardolph's cock inside.

The stallion’s hooves clatter against the stall floor as regains his balance and then Lorenz feels himself being breached, the hairy warmth of the beast covering his back as its prick goes in, and in, and _in_ , a seemingly endless slide, and Lorenz thinks he's shouting but he can't be sure, eyes rolling back in his head as his insides seize around the lengthy cock inside him. 

Bardolph pushes forward, flattening Lorenz against the stall door. Lorenz feels tears wet his cheeks as he splatters spend all over the saddle blanket, owned entirely by the cock that fills him over and over, spearing him like a pig on a spit. His jaw is too slack to form words, but he moans senselessly, his cheek burning from the blanket's scratchy weave. Above him, Bardolph snorts, heaving gusty breaths through its nose, ruffling Lorenz's hair all down his scalp.

Then, suddenly, it's over. Lorenz cries out again, utterly beyond dignity, as he feels a great gush of seed coat his insides. As Bardolph's weight moves off him, Lorenz slides to the ground on his hands and knees, the horse's spend slopping out of his hole onto the floor. He's shaking, but he feels a rush of hot excitement not unlike that left behind from a particularly harrowing battle.

He rests his head on the clean hay covering the stall floor, catching his breath, cataloguing the aches in his backside and shoulders. The gentle scent of the hay is comforting, if not comfortable. He's gaping, spread out on the floor like this. The warm air of the stable flutters over his skin and his hole tries to wink shut, but it can't quite close all the way. More of the stallion's spend dribbles out of his hole, trickling down his thigh.

"Lorenz - saints, you look a proper slut," Ferdinand gasps from behind him, moaning, and a shivery groan is wrenched from Lorenz as he feels more sticky spend stripe his backside. Then Ferdinand is kneeling next to him, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder, trousers open to show a softening cock peeking through his smalls. Lorenz manages to balance himself on only three limbs and covers Ferdinand's hand with his own trembling one. 

"Well," Lorenz says hoarsely, then clears his throat. "I - I don't believe I'll be able to walk tomorrow, Ferdinand, but as you can see, I was perfectly capable of handling your stallion myself." 

Ferdinand pats his shoulder. "And you did it quite well. A natural, in fact." He hesitates for a moment, then slides his hand down Lorenz's back to rest on his rump. Lorenz shivers, arching into the touch. "And should you ever feel the need to prove yourself again, the von Aegir stables are, as ever, at your disposal."

**Author's Note:**

> Horse girl Lorenz 💜


End file.
